Monday, December 23, 2013

Movies: 'Home Alone' burglars actual medical diagnosis and prognosis!


If you've ever wondered how the bungling burglars in the Christmas movie 'Home Alone' survived their injuries, here is the medical explanation!

And let's just say as well that these two idiots are lucky that the movie was filmed in 1990 and not in January 2014.

With the implementation of Obamacare, the injuries that they actually would have sustained might have put them squarely in front of the death panels the Obama administration denies exist.

'Since its debut in 1990, Home Alone has become as much a part of the Christmas cinematic ritual as It's a Wonderful Life.

But unlike that uplifting tale about the good of mankind, Home Alone tells a rather unsettling Christmas story of a precocious 8-year-old who, accidentally abandoned by his family, is forced to defend his home from two dimwitted burglars.

Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin) turns his family's home into a veritable funhouse of torturous booby traps that so-called Wet Bandits Marv (Daniel Stern) and Harry (Joe Pesci) hilariously stumble through, and the transformation of a suburban Chicago home into a relentless injury machine is nothing short of spectacular.

But it does require quite a suspension of disbelief. Can a man really be hit square in the face with a steam iron and walk away unfazed? What kind of permanent physical damage would a blow torch to the head really do?

To answer these questions and officially dissolve Home Alone's Hollywood magic, I spoke with my friend Dr. Ryan St. Clair of the Weill Cornell Medical College. Enjoy...'

Read the injury by injury prognosis for Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern at The Week here.

H/T Bad Blue


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