Friday, November 11, 2011

Tattoo's: What you get, where you put it and what it all means!

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For the 16% of the people in the world who have a tattoo, is there some significance to the what it is and where it went?

Have you ever been out somewhere, saw a tattoo on a man or a woman's neck, and wondered how they cover it up for a job interview at the local bank?

Or how, in 10 or 20 years, they explain why it's there to the kids while telling them that if they ever get a tattoo they'll kill them?

Maybe I'm the only one but here are four examples of type and placement:

4 Barbed Wire

Who gets them: Amateur body builders/professional d-bags


Where they get them: Around their biceps.

For the life of me I can’t possess what makes people want to put barbed wire on their bodies. What is this, extreme capture the flag and you’re protecting your arm from foreign invaders? Ask any person with a barbed wire tattoo what they do for a living and they’ll say, “well, right now I work as a telemarketer, but I’m thinking about quitting to pursue MMA more seriously.”

3 Cross

Who gets them: People who like Jesus, but don’t necessarily love him enough to go to Church or read The Bible.


Where they get them: Upper arm.

Getting religious symbols, whether they are of Christian, Islamic, Buddhist or Jewish (alert!) influence are utterly terrible. These posers think the “Old Testament” is an old copy of Tiger Beat they have in their room with Jonathan Taylor Thomas on it.

2 Nautical Star

Who gets them: Guys who look like girls and girls who look like guys.


Where they get them: On their elbows.

These tattoos got really popular, really quick. In fact, they became such a part of the tattoo and musical zeitgeist that getting one came with a complimentary inner lip number that spelled out “emo.” If you ever need to bum an American Spirit or borrow some eyeliner, just look for the guy or girl where you can’t tell who is who.

1 Initials/Names

Who gets them: People who should attend Derek Zoolander’s Center for Children Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too.


Where they get them: Across their heart.

They’re your initials. I repeat. They. Are. Your. Initials. And your name. I always thought the definition of narcissism was going home after work, stripping down to your birthday suit and staring at your chiseled torso in a full-length mirror. As it turns out, it isn’t. Getting a tattoo of your own name is.

The slightly racier 5, 6, 7 and 8 tattoo's and descriptions can be found at Guyism.


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2 comments :

  1. Inked-up skanks and metal mutilated freaks. No thanks, the circus just left town.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'll count that as 1 vote against tattoos.

    ReplyDelete

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