Monday, February 21, 2011

California and Arizona: Two governors, two coyote attacks, two solutions to the deadly problem

A fictional tale of two states, two governors, two deadly animal attacks and two different approaches to the same problem.

The story may, in some small way, help to explain the severity of the fiscal mess that one of these states finds itself in.

The question:

How would a governor of liberal, left leaning and tofu eating California deal with a coyote attack while out for a jog?

On the other hand how would a governor of Arizona, believer in the right to bear arms, state's rights and the right to protect of our sovereign borders deal with an attack by the first coyote's brother?

Would they opt for a simple solution or complicated solution? Big government solution or limited government solution?

The story may shed some light on why the finances of one of theses states is in such dire straights. (H/T Capitol Commentary)


The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out, bites the Governor and attacks his dog.

The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie ”Bambi” and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural.

He calls animal control. Animal Control captures coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.

The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a “coyote awareness” program for residents of the area.

The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

The Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack somehow and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene.

Additional cost to State of California: $75,000 to hire and train a new security agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files suit against the State.


The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.

The Governor shoots the coyote with her state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

The buzzards eat the dead coyote.


  1. Thank you for the link I appreciate it.

  2. My pleasure. Keep up the great work.

  3. Um where do you get $.50 hollow point .45s?

  4. George:

  5. And then someone takes their govt gun and shoots a congresswoman in the head

    You guy sneed to turn of the gun porn and float back to Earth