Sunday, February 27, 2011

Blogging Rule # 5 aka how to get 1 million hits to your blog

Blogging Rule # 5 or how to drive eyes to ALL of your articles

If you write a blog that puts forth the most credible and important political analysis on a story with national or global impact, it can't resonate in peoples minds if no one is reading it.

Something along the lines of "if a blogger writes an article in the woods but there is no one there to read it does he still make a point?" The answer to that is for the most part no!

You get my drift. I was reading an article from The Other McCain that was written in 2009 with the title "How to get a Million Hits on Your Blog in Less Than a Year." It laid out a clear and cogent methodology for successful blogging. This is defined, as I said before, as how efficient one has become at driving eyes to your content and by extension to your thoughts and ideas.

Of the Five Rules laid out in The Other McCain I am happy to report that I am pretty much covering numbers 1 through 4 fairly well. Blogging Rule 5, however, not so much.

The basic point of Blogging Rule 5 is that no matter how focused people are on the subject of politics, nobody can face it 24/7. That there needs to be an occasional story written for no other reason than to provide some entertainment for your readers. Thus, we have Rule 5.

Rule 5 in its entirety

5. Christina Hendricks

Or Anne Hathaway or Natalie Portman or Sarah Palin bikini pics. Rule 5 actually combines four separate principles of blogospheric success:

A. Everybody loves a pretty girl -- It's not just guys who enjoy staring at pictures of hotties. If you've ever picked up Cosmo or Glamour, you realize that chicks enjoy looking at pretty girls, too. (NTTAWWT.) Maybe it's the vicious catty she-thinks-she's-all-that factor, or the schadenfreude of watching a human trainwreck like Britney Spears, but no one can argue that celebrity babes generate traffic. Over at Conservative Grapevine, the most popular links are always the bikini pictures. And try as I might to make "logical arguments" for tax cuts, wouldn't you rather watch Michelle Lee Muccio make those arguments?

B. Mind the MEGO factor -- All politics all the time gets boring after a while. Observant readers will notice that the headlines at Hot Air often feature silly celebrity tabloid stuff and News Of The Weird. Even a stone political junkie cannot subsist on a 24/7 diet of politics. The occasional joke, the occasional hot babe, the occasional joke about a hot babe -- it's a safety valve to make sure we don't become humorless right-wing clones of those Democratic Underground moonbats.

C. Sex sells -- Back when I was blogging to promote Donkey Cons (BUY TWO!), I accidentally discovered something via SiteMeter: Because the subtitle of the book is "Sex, Crime, and Corruption in the Democratic Party," we were getting traffic from people Googling "donkey+sex." You'd be surprised at the keyword combinations that bring traffic to a political blogger who understands this. Human nature being what it is, the lowest common denominator is always there, even if it's sublimated or reverse-projected as puritanical indignation, which brings us to . . .

D. Feminism sucks -- You can never go wrong in the blogosphere by having a laugh at the expense of feminists. All sane people hate feminism, and no one hates feminism more than smart, successful, independent women who've made it on their own without all that idiotic "Sisterhood Is Powerful" groupthink crap. And if you are one of those fanatical weirdos who takes that Women's Studies stuff so seriously that you're offended by Stephen Green's sexist objectification of Christina Hendricks and her mighty bosom -- well, sweetheart, to paraphrase Rhett Butler: "You should be offended, and often, and by someone who knows how."

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  1. the Donkey sex comment had me laughing. Great post. On a more serious note, I found this post while searching how to drive more traffic to my feminist blog. I agree with most of points 1-4, we can't always be serious 24/7. But depending on which segment of the population you are trying to attract, dismissing a big chunk of us doesn't seem like the best strategy. As a smart successful small business owner and feminist I am working to try to change what this term means in people's minds. I don't think advocating against rape, against lower wages for the same position, or for better health care for pregnant women is against conservative values. And hey - studies show that men who do more housework get more sex! Win-win situation.

  2. That is a great comment. I actually took a class last week to learn how to drive hits.

    I flew this guy into New York to learn his secrets.