Friday, June 19, 2009

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? Let's Ask

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? It All Depends On Who Is Answering The Question.

We all know the joke. The answer, I think, is to get to the other side. Wrong! That's the answer that you or I might give. But what if we asked John Kerry? Or maybe John McCain. Or maybe some other people from politics, history or the media. Is that what they would say?

I guess it depends on what your definition of is, is. This is a bi-partisan joke (source unknown), and a funny way to end a long week.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Let them tell you:

BARACK OBAMA:

The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN McCAIN:

My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road

HILLARY CLINTON:

When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! - that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

DR. PHIL:

The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:

Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:

That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:

To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA:

In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:

I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:

I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:

Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:

Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:

Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

6 comments :

  1. good stuff mike...who did you steal that from???

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  2. Gotta tell you man. You are a miserable dope. If you read it says source unknown, so I guess that means the source is unknown.

    Why don't you do yourself a favor and go back and get your GED.

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  3. xanax time buddy....all's fair in the blog world..if you can't take it get out mike....no one is listening anyway...right?

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  4. There's that inability to read again.

    And we can go anytime and anywhere, but since you don't have the courage to say who you are, how will i recognize you?

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  5. i'll be the guy with the flower in his lapel

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