Thursday, April 23, 2009

The Liberal Code of Beliefs

This was forwarded to me by a friend of mine. Interesting reading.

The Liberal Code of Beliefs

I'm a Liberal because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

I'm a Liberal because I love the fact I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse.

I'm a Liberal because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

I'm a Liberal because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

I'm a Liberal because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

I'm a Liberal because when we pull out of Iraq I trust the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

I'm a Liberal because I believe people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday, CAN tell us the polar ice caps will melt away in 10 years if I don't start driving a Prius.

I'm a Liberal because I believe business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.

I'm a Liberal because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who could NEVER get their agendas past the voters.

A Liberal has to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

A Liberal has to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

I'm a Liberal because my head is so firmly planted up my own butt, it's unlikely I'll ever have another point of view.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."


  1. You are a fucking retard. Seriously how much longer is the rest of humanity going to be subjected to your crap?

    Is there a 900 number where I can donate to an al qaeda nuclear bomb fund? They need to start dropping americans in serious numbers.

  2. Interesting thoughts, and spoken like a true liberal American?

    Maybe I should forward your comment on to the Department of Homeland Security. They might be interested.

  3. Mike. Great post. Linking it. Anonymous - Thanks for being yet another example of how intolerant, closed-minded, and hateful those "tolerant, open-minded, and loving" liberals really are!

    http://VocalMinority.typepad.comThe Jewish Republican's Web Sanctuary

  4. It is incredible. The second paragraph by Anonymous may have stepped just a tiny bit over the line.

  5. At least we know now what we've suspected for a while ... that liberals really *are* on the side of al Qaeda in this war. LOL

  6. mike,firstly.. no one believes you have friends..2ndly....leave it to you to use someone else's words for your out of ideas...hit fox regenerate....thirdly your not a retard thats negative..your an asshole....anonymous 2..

  7. Ditto Eric's first comment.

    They are so busy looking for fault and reasons to accuse the right and center of "racism" and "intolerance" and "hatred," their own racism, tolerance, and hatred are peeking through.

  8. I think your comments are great A. The more you talk, the more ignorant you sound but that's okay.

    The beauty of America is that people like you have the ability to voice their opinions, no matter how stupid they are.

    Have a great day.

  9. Troll.
    Typical leftist asininity.

    How's life under that bridge, anon? Better get used to it, since your newly crowned President O-Hole is doing everything he can to make sure we ALL live under the bridges.

  10. To first poster Anon: Pardon my French, but shut the fuck up, dipshit. "Dropping Americans?" Fuck off. Drop the rhetoric or stop being a goddamned pussy. I'm ashamed for whatever country you call home, and if you're American, kill yourself and save us a bullet.

    To everyone else who agrees with this post: you fuck off, too. I'm a Liberal and I believe in upholding the constitution.

    I'm for the second amendment, and I own a gun... but I'm a Liberal because I believe there should be stricter standards for gun ownership in all states (need a license after passing a competency test, need to register each firearm, need to report if stolen, for starters)

    I'm not gay, but I'm a Liberal because I believe gays should be able to marry. No, I won't marry a fucking horse. Marriage is between people, because a goddamned horse can't possibly consent. If you think marriage is only for a man and a woman and are lobbying against gay rights, you're no better than any of the motherfuckers who introduced institutionalized racism and segregation decades ago in America. That's right. your cause will soon be remembered as an utter disgrace in American history. Light em up cuz you're goin down.

    I'm a Liberal because I believe that we should pull out of Iraq because we already did what we could. Staying there is counterproductive at this point. We can't stay there forever and like it or not, they need to learn to run things on their own. You can't learn to ride a bike with training wheels forever attached. Sure, we invaded on false premises, but some good came out of it. Now support our troops and support Iraq by bringing troops home and letting the Iraqis take a stab at running their affairs with less interference.

    I'm a Liberal because I believe that both the NRA and ACLU are needed for the checks and balances of this country to remain in play. We can't have either one side or the other. Human rights are human rights, and both sides have a tendency to abuse it for their own causes. Keep them in check. Both of them.

    I'm a Liberal because I believe that kids should already be able to read by the 4th grade. I mean, I was winning spelling bees at that age, for fuck's sake. And the sex talk thing? you KNOW that you can opt them out of it, right? or was that conveniently forgotten? you've got to be fucking kidding me.

    I'm a Liberal because I believe that the polar ice caps are melting, but it won't disappear in 10 years. 100 years at this rate maybe, but not ten years. Oh, and meteorology and environmental climatology are two vastly different fields. If you paid attention in your science classes instead of lighting up in the bathroom you'd have known better. Sure, the weather may be different tomorrow than what the weatherman said today, but the polar ice caps ARE melting. That's the equivalent of the weatherman looking out the window and saying "yep, it's hot!" Whether or not it's entirely due to humans is still up for grabs, but I'm a liberal because I contend that we had to do with at least part of it.

    "A liberal is a person who will give away everything that they don't own." If you're any indication, "a conservative asserts the very definition of the arrogance of ignorance."

    I'm a Liberal because I know neither of those sayings are true.

  11. Liberals seem very angry for all their dreams coming true in DC. Bush is gone, relax, go back to Huffpo and whine about the tea parties.

  12. Wow, I think you struck a nerve with Bruce!

    Anyway, good stuff! I'll probably cross-post it sometime, if you don't mind.

    On a related note, here's an attempt to establish a liberal dictionary, though perhaps not as entertaining as this is. I suppose it's a hopeless cause, what with the way liberals constantly redefine words - it'll never be fully up to date. But, it's an interesting challenge...

  13. Hey Bruce:

    Fair and balanced comment. You hate traitorous liberals (good call) and the right.

  14. Liberal do seem very angry Jeff. Seems across the board.

  15. Excellent post. Thanks!
    I took the liberty of translating into Portuguese and published it in my conservative Brazilian blog.

  16. I am going to check out what this looks like in Portuguese. Thanks.

  17. Evan Sayet discusses with great humor and eloquence the “cult of indiscriminitness” in his lecture titled: “Regurgitating the Apple: How Modern Liberals “Think” :

    videoStreaming mp3Save to mp3transcriptHere is a brief snippet from the lecture which captures the essence of this issue :

    What happens is, they are indoctrinated into what I call a “cult of indiscriminateness.” The way the elite [or Bruce] does this is by teaching our children, start­ing with the very young, that rational and moral thought is an act of bigotry; that no matter how sin­cerely you may seek to gather the facts, no matter how earnestly you may look at the evidence, no matter how disciplined you may try to be in your reasoning, your conclusion is going to be so tainted by your personal bigotries, by your upbringing, by your religion, by the color of your skin, by the nation of your great-great-great-great-great grandfa­ther’s birth; that no matter what your conclusion, it is useless. It is nothing other than the reflection of your bigotries, and the only way to eliminate bigot­ry is to eliminate rational thought. There’s a brilliant book out there called The Clos­ing of the American Mind by Professor Allan Bloom. Professor Bloom was trying to figure out in the 1980s why his students were suddenly so stupid, and what he came to was the realization, the recog­nition, that they’d been raised to believe that indis­criminateness is a moral imperative because its opposite is the evil of having discriminated. I para­phrase this in my own works: “In order to eliminate discrimination, the Modern Liberal has opted to become utterly indiscriminate.”

  18. This was very deep, but I am trying to determine your point although I think I know what it is.

    Is this an admission that the liberal left has pre-conceived ideas and thoughts based on their upbringing and beliefs?

  19. Your Code is going to upset those who live in the Plastic Reality, people who can't incorporate the F-word fast enough in their disgusting comments.

    But, then again, they are really just projecting the deep-seated self-loathing that haunts their every waking moment.

    Here is the cold, hard fact about liberals: there is no forgiveness of personal sin in their Plastic Reality.

  20. Can there really be two people named Anonymous? Am I in Bizarro World? Will the real Anonymous please stand up.

  21. I'm a Liberal because the people in Washington (Democrats anyway) know more about what's good for us than we do.

    I'm a Liberal because the last 5000 years of history, particularly warfare and totalitarianism, isn't relevant today. History starts today, with us.

    I'm a Liberal because I believe in teaching kids of different colors and creeds to live together peaceably, but there's no point teaching them sexual abstinence, because having wanton sex is just human nature.

    I'm a Liberal because I think people are basically good, and good people do bad things only because of weapons, poverty and racism.

    I'm a Liberal because there is no limit to what can be accomplished with somebody else's money and time.

    I'm a Liberal because I cannot think of a reasonable response to any of this, so I'll engage in sarcasm, threats and name-calling.

  22. The Conservative Code of Beliefs

    *I'm a conservative who doesn't know anybody outside of my comfort zone that owns a gun. I'm a conservative that thinks the motivation to keep guns out of the hands of the mentally ill & criminally motivated persons is not compatible with my rights to own a gun as a law abiding citizen.*

    *I'm a conservative who sees no validity in the science & biology of sexuality & attraction, believe the government should only condone civil marriages under religious requirements, see no difference between consenting acts between adults & abuse of children or animals and can't fathom why anyone would equate my stance with bigotry.*

    *I'm a conservative who thinks gas should be untaxed, since we're not paying for it's processing, distribution & impact on our communities in any way.*

    *I'm a conservative because I want... complete anarchy?*

    *I'm a conservative because freedom of speech is fine, even if a message encourages acts violence, murder, and rioting. Being considerate of other people's perspective is for pussies & communists.*

    *I'm a conservative who thinks we went into Iraq to avenge 9/11, and even if the people of Iraq find the US military to be a destabalizing element in the country, we should Stay The Course for the next 100 years. We broke it, we own it... and all the oil*

    *I'm a conservative who doesn't think smoking causes cancer, because there are people who smoke & don't get cancer. Global climate change is a lie put forward by environmental crazies to make me recycle & turn off a light when I leave the room.*

    *I'm a conservative because I believe business will always act in the best interest of their community, employees, share holders and consumers without oversight from anyone. Monopolies are good part of capitalism, and unions only exist to torment good & ethical business owners.*

    *I'm a conservative because I believe judges need to focus on the christian roots of our great nation when making legal decisions. Those activist judges (and legislators now) are forcing me to accept that people can get married even if they are of the same sex! Which is an abomination, and an attempt to repeat the tragic ruling on Loving v. Virginia.*

    *A conservative has to believe the ACLU is bad because they are helping gay people attack traditional marriage, and the NRA is good because guns are awesome.*

    *A conservative has to believe that we should never talk to kids about sex, ever. If they ask, tell them it's dirty & wrong until you're married and you can ask questions then. Menstruation is god's way of showing girls they are vessels for man to bear children and the clitoris is a myth put forward by heretics and communists.*

    *I'm a conservative because my genetics and biology, family history and community have influenced the way I see the world, and somehow can not fathom how liberals could have a different perspective without being a complete idiot with a head up their ass. Conversation and understanding differences within my world & community is not something I'm terribly interested in.*

  23. every one all i can see is hear is hate for one another dont u see it dosnt matter if were liberal,republican,black,white,gay or strait. what matters is that we all make up one united group Americans. and if we cant evan get along how r we suppose to get along as a nation!? each party has faults and all u can do is blame one another instead of trying to fix it.

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